Motherhood has given me this overwhelming sense of perfectionism. I constantly feel like someone needs or wants something from me (which honestly, is probably true, but that’s besides the point). To add to that pressure, it seems like there are a lot of “shoulds” happening: things that I SHOULD be doing and things that my kids SHOULD be doing. You should have a clean house. You should have a healthy dinner on the table every night. You should have friendly, outgoing children who respond politely to every stranger. You should have it all together (okay, maybe this one is self-induced, but still). Well you know what? All of these shoulds are stressing me out. So, I’m done worrying about them. I’m done apologizing for things that don’t need apologies.
In no particular order, here are five things I’m done saying sorry for:
I’m not sorry if there are toys and crafts everywhere.
Look, we’re busy. We’re constantly DOING s o m e t h i n g. I like providing them with ample opportunities for creativity and to be imaginative. And as much as I try to get them to clean up one activity before we move on to the next, with a three year old and a one year old, that’s just not always realistic. By the time I get one child started on something, the other one is making a giant mess somewhere else. And as soon as I clean up all the toys in one room, the next room is destroyed. They are like tiny little (noisy) tornadoes and it just isn’t worth it to miss out on playing WITH them to be cleaning up after them. So, some of the messes will wait until later. For now, we’re making memories. (Don’t get me wrong– I am all for teaching responsibility and cleaning up after one’s self, but if we’re going to play with this thing again in 30 minutes, we’re just going to leave it out)
I’m not sorry my kid won’t say hi to you.
I was a super-outgoing child. My mom likes to tell a story about a time we went to the beach and I wandered off to play with some other family because I wanted to use their toys. My children, on the other hand, will give you a blank, death stare before looking away and diverting attention. McKenna is especially weary of new people (get to know her and she’ll talk your ear off, but that’s another story). It doesn’t matter where we are, if she’s met you a handful of times, if she’s tired/happy/sad/excited… if she doesn’t know you quite well, she most likely won’t talk to you. At first, this drove me nuts! I was constantly apologizing for her being “rude” to strangers. But at this point, I’ve decided to let her to do her. We talk a lot about being polite, not ignoring others, and giving a friendly “hello” or “no thank you”, but other than that… she doesn’t have to be super friendly. Maybe that will change as she gets older, but if it doesn’t, she’ll survive.
I’m not sorry my baby is loud in the restaurant.
What’s with everyone thinking babies are going to be quiet in public places? How on Earth would my BABY know the socially acceptable volume in a restaurant?! He’s a flippin’ BABY. We try to choose places that are a bit noisier, have patios, and/or are deemed “family friendly” to try and avoid this issue, but that doesn’t always work. On that note, I’m also not sorry that my three year old is cracking up laughing and squealing with joy. It could be much worse, trust me. If you wanted to eat a peaceful, quiet meal, either stay home or go to a fancier restaurant. Sorry I’m not sorry my baby is acting exactly how he’s supposed to.
I’m not sorry for posting 1 million pictures of my kids.
If your life consists of the same thing day in and day out AND that thing brings you great joy, I want to know about it! Yeah, you with the cute puppy. Show him off! You, on all the fancy vacations and the expensive drinks and the gorgeous ball gowns. Keep ‘em coming! I document A LOT of what my kids do on a daily basis, because in case you haven’t noticed, they are growing up so fast. Too fast. And I don’t want to forget a single, adorable moment. So I snap their photos and record videos of the jumps, the squeals, the firsts, and the lasts so that I don’t forget. I don’t know when we got so annoyed with other people posting about their passions. Mine just happens to be my kiddos. *shoulder shrug*
I’m not sorry for posting another running/workout picture.
S e e A b o v e. Not much to add here, except to say this: if it makes you feel good, do it. If it holds you accountable, do it. If even ONE person has told you that it inspired them, DO IT! Don’t be sorry for sharing your life on YOUR social media pages. If people like it, that’s incredible. If they don’t, then gently remind them that they don’t have to follow along.